My Story: From Food Fixation to Wellness Revival

I can remember a day back to pre 6th grade when I was standing in my childhood home kitchen, no one else was around.

I took two cookies from the pantry.

They were the generic white ones with the creme in the middle and I was about to head up to my room. Before I could make it to the stairs, I thought maybe I should dip the cookies in the Betty Crocker can of frosting in the pantry. You know, because cookies aren’t sweet enough on their own.

And, then … it physically pains me to say this …

I sprinkled white sugar on top of the frosting.

I savored every single second of eating those cookies while hiding alone in my room. And, instead of feeling guilty, I wondered when I could do it again.

And, at just 10 years old, I became an addict.

They say that admitting is the first step.

Since that day, I have battled food fixations every single day of my life from one pendulum to the other. There have been times of extreme restriction from certain foods and constant, exhausting, mental focus on calorie intake and ingredients.

On the other hand, I have had months of binging and filling my body with garbage. I have cried myself to sleep countless nights because of the control food has had over my life.

Food fixation is a difficult beast because not all people see it as an addictive agent. At least not comparable to drugs and alcohol. But, please do suffer life-altering illnesses and/or die from poor food choices that lead to secondary health issues. But, it seems almost laughable. We need to eat to live, right?

I recently read this quote “Every time you put something in your body you are either feeding disease or fighting it.”

In my food journey, I have realized my struggle isn’t a compartment I can put away at the end of the day. It’s a part of my whole-body wellness. Mind. Body. Soul.

I started a Facebook group that has morphed into a small community of people trying to “Live Healthy.” Someone recently asked me why I started the group and I had to laugh. Honestly? It was because I needed the accountability. I figured if I was boasting a Healthy Living group, I would have to be setting the example, right?

For the first six months or so, I felt like a complete fraud.

I was posting articles about the damaging side effects of Diet Coke while drinking 1-3 cans a week. But, of course, not around those in my group. I was encouraging people to consume less sugar but having cinnamon sugar toast for breakfast, a mid-afternoon sugar coffee for a quick jolt, and a large Sonic Cream Slush after dinner.

In the last year, I’ve felt almost like a stranger in my own body, watching the old me transform into a healthier version of myself. I started my Facebook group and using essential oils around the same time. In addition to those pivotal moments, I read a book called “Full” by Asheritah Ciuciu. Those three pieces of my puzzle have kick-started my wellness revival and have set me on a trajectory towards truly living healthy.

With each choice, each habit formed, I am becoming more able to put the past in the past and see the hope of the future. I’m certainly not an expert in nutrition and I don’t have a medical degree, but I can understand if you’re going through a similar addiction and I can walk along side you. I can offer some tricks and tips to get you to the other side as well as hope for the future.

So, where are you on your wellness journey? Have you admitted to yourself that you have a serious issue with food, caffeine, sugar or alcohol? Can you imagine living without a certain food or giving up caffeine forever? I’m not asking you to, but I know for me, when I realized the answer was “I can’t live without _____,'“ I knew I had a problem. Do you know you have a food fixation and are ready to transform your life one choice, one habit at a time? Join my “Healthy Living” Facebook group for community and support, and begin the journey towards the healthiest version of you.

Cheers to the start of your wellness journey!

MEET THE AUTHOR

Ashley Fornshell is a woman on a whole-body wellness mission. Mind. Body. Soul. The focus of her journey has been on using her faith in Christ to cultivate a positive self-worth mindset and overcome food addiction. She and her husband do life in Southwest, Ohio with their two kiddos. She spends her days navigating motherhood, ministering to other moms, writing, and encouraging others on their wellness journey.