Beauty In Imperfections
Wabi-sabi.
Imperfect. Impermanent. Incomplete.
I had no clue about Wabi-sabi until I googled “imperfect nature” in a quest to illustrate to my daughter that things can be beautiful even if they aren’t perfect. In my searching, I discovered Wabi-sabi, a Japanese worldview based on the concept that emphasizes finding beauty in imperfection.
Picture this. My daughter and I were sitting at the table and I had given her a matching letters activity. Her job was to find the matching letter, I would put down some glue, and she would stick on the matching letter. Several times after sticking the matching letter on the page, she started crying and exclaiming, “No, it’s not perfect, I want it to be perfect”.
Whoa. She is four years old.
My heart broke a little and I bit my lip to hold back tears because I know in my gut this is a learned response, and I know she got it from me.
Looking back, I’ve struggled with perfectionism and ultimately I think there’s a little…. ok a lot, that has to do with being in control. A spiritual pull draws us to feel the need to be in control and therefore produce perfection. We tirelessly strive to hit standards either placed by ourselves or others. Then enters social media and our eyes are blasted with the perfectly controlled filtered images of “perfection”.
I will forever remember the moment I was standing in my kitchen with my self imposed “has to be done by tonight so I can feel good about myself to do list” running through my head. I couldn’t take it. I threw my hands up in the air and audibly said
“God, I can’t do all of this”.
As gentle as a calm breeze, I felt His spirit say, “Ashley, I never asked you to”. I exhalled and fell to the floor. With each tense muscle releasing, I cried a little more until I received the peace of not having to perfectly complete a days to do list to be enough.
That was 6 months ago, but I know there are some days when the pull is stronger than others. I know in the days and weeks ahead my kids will be watching and learning. Moving forward, instead of perfection and in addition to speaking the truth of Jesus into her heart, I hope to show her the modern understanding of the word “wabi” which is “quirks or anomalies arising from the process of construction, which add uniqueness and elegance to the object”. Because what if we could embrace the lack of control and let go of the need for perfection and allow the beautiful process of construction to take us to a place of extreme beauty. What if we could surrender the reigns of control and allow God to create us to be who we were meant to be.
Take a deep breath friend.
In fact, lay on the floor (if you’re mom, somewhere your children can’t access you) and take 10 deep breaths. Breathe in through your nose and exhale through your mouth.
Surrender to the beauty of the construction process.
Embrace the beauty in the imperfections.
You are enough.
MEET THE AUTHOR
Ashley Fornshell is a woman on a whole-body wellness mission. Mind. Body. Soul. The focus of her journey has been on using her faith in Christ to cultivate a positive self-worth mindset and overcome food addiction. She and her husband do life in Southwest, Ohio with their two kiddos. She spends her days navigating motherhood, ministering to other moms, writing, and encouraging others on their wellness journey.