Are you a control freak?
Do you know this scenario?!? If you are a parent I’m sure you do! The battle of the wills!
I have had the pleasure of giving births to three very strong willed children. They express their desires and ‘non-negotiables” very differently but nonetheless, I have been in this situation MANY, MANY times!
I have also been the little girl. Daily! I have a very strong will. I set expectations about the day or the outcome and I am VERY frustrated when I don’t “get my way”.
You too?
Your kids too?
Your partner too?
Your parents too?
Your “_______________” (fill in the blank) TOO!?!!?!
What do you expect!?!?
We all are controlling and like to control and do not like anyone to control us.
It is human nature!! It is the result of every difficult parenting moment, every marital tiff, every bill not passed in congress and every war in history.
Different perspectives, beliefs, values, communication styles, expectations, and expressions make us next-to-impossible to communicate with because we are all so different.
That’s the bad news!
The good new is there are tools to come together and for two parties (whether it’s parent/child or spouse/spouse or business partners to business partner) to come together and find a solution.
Here are some tips:
Define terms. Chances are you are not talking the same language. One of you doesn’t know what the other is wanting. REALLY WANTING. They might say it’s one thing, but chances are there is a fear or a concern or a selfish or gracious desire that they are not explaining. SO…….
LISTEN to the whole scenario. NOT JUST THE ITEM AT HAND! It’s not about getting juice or not to a 3 year old! It’s about the sugar! It’s about the power! It’s about the freedom! Same with your husband. It’s not about sex! It’s about fear! It’s about intimacy! It’s about worry of being ‘enough’ and attractive and connected!
PS Go back to #1 and defiine terms! and then go back to #2 and then probably go back to #1, then #2, then repeat…… but first:
REMEMBER TO USE tools!! There are tools to help not one, but TWO controlling people get along! They are amazing!!!!!!!! All you need is a chair and a beverage and some music and some essential oils.
THIS IS WHAT YOU DO! (Tried and true tips)
turn on some music softly in the background that will sooth everyone’s emotions. MUSIC IS POWERFUL!!!!
get a beverage you would both enjoy together
sit on the chairs close side by side (not across from each other)
put a drop of essential oil in your hands and on your pulse points of your necks. (Suggestions below)
Alternate #1 and #2 above enough times that you feel that you understand the other person and you feel understood.
SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, RELEASE SOME CONTROL, QUIET YOUR HEART
FIND JOY AGAIN IN THE MOMENT AND BEYOND
I AM NOT SAYING IT IS EASY. I TOTALLY GET IT. TRUST ME. BUT IT IS WORTH IT TO TRY NEW WAYS TO CONNECT WITH THOSE YOU LOVE.
Get the control back with your brain!!
Hijack your emotions by sending good chemical messages to your mind through using essential oils. These messages from powerful plants help our brains reprogram and process in a new way. Use these oils in the link below for these desired outcomes!
(They have to be powerful and safe and effective, so they have to be doTERRA)
MEET THE AUTHOR
Kari Turner Davis is a Holistic Life Coach and dōTERRA Essential Oils Educator. Recently named a dōTERRA Diamond leader, Kari is passionate about empowering women with the tools they need to reach financial freedom while educating moms to embrace the idea of a natural and non-toxic lifestyle. Kari and her husband, Bobby, live in Naples, Florida with their combined five children. They enjoy boating, spending time together as a family and creating an enjoyable lifestyle that revolves around filling up your tank to serve others in a higher capacity.