Praying for your Husband
Joining Kari on The Well Podcast for episode 210 is Ashley, Kari’s behind the scenes assistant. Ashley is wife to Brian of 14 years, does life in southwest Ohio with her three kids, and enjoys writing and encouraging other women in Biblical wifehood. Prayer hasn’t always come easy for Ashley and she will quickly admit she hasn’t arrived as a Christian wife, but the Lord is making a new way and Ashley is excited to share with any wife who wants to pray for their husband.
Today we’re talking about relational wellness and a passion project of Ashley’s. Kari was a part of the pilot program for the 30 day Husband Prayer Challenge. The prayer challenge was born out of Ashley’s struggle for almost a decade to pray with the consistent right heart and mindset.
Ashley shares how her prayers changed for her husband.
Adoration - praising God, recognizing who He is, and priming your heart for confessing your sin
Confession - recognizing your sin that separates you from God and how God has covered your sin through the blood of Jesus
Thanksgiving - being thankful for the gifts in my life
Supplication - bringing requests to God on behalf of others and myself
After a turn in Ashley’s marriage, Ashley decided to commit to praying for her husband for 30 days and “Things did change, my heart and his heart softened, he was more receptive to me and our time spent together was different”.
Wherever you’re at, whether you’re in a praying season, sometimes we pray differently in different seasons. The prayer challenge has really been an accountability tool for Ashley, it was born out of the idea that “I’m struggling in this area, come alongside and do it with me.”
The challenge puts marriage under the umbrella of love and grace and when you pray through these prayers, oftentimes your heart may change first.
Kari shared, “your prayers brought to light the things that aren’t the hot topics. It wasn’t always the negative, praying away the bad, it was praying in the good. So many times in wife culture, it’s slam the husband sessions and make fun of them. Culturally it’s really toxic for men right now. But the prayers put a different light on praying for our husbands.”
Kari: What are some of the prayers you go through?
Ashley: There is a wide variety and there’s not really a necessary order to them, but prayers for his rest, his integrity, his peace, his sin, his repentance, his work, his relationships, his ministry, etc. It really actually changed my heart in the process.
Kari said, “That’s the amazing part of this is in a marriage, two become one. As we pray for these things, it’s in such an intimate way.”
It’s a relationship that nothing else touches. No other relationship has so much power to do so much good but also so much harm at the same time.
One topic Kari and Ashley discussed was “wife culture” and “mama culture”. Kari shared this wisdom; “Why are we ok talking about mom culture and being moms, but we don’t talk a lot about the role of wives. In the messy middle between dating/newlyweds without kids, and the retirement years when you’re on your own again, it’s the money, the bills, the jobs, the kids, the ministries, the sports and all of it all the time.. And you’re not crazy but things are HARD! Neither of you married a perfect person, but unfortunately, you feel you’re not allowed to be honest and say that things are hard. As a mom, it’s not fun to admit that your kids are misbehaving, but it feels like the moment you get married everyone expects your marriage to be perfect, or people know it’s not and you don’t want to throw your spouse under the bus by talking about the hard”.
Why is there such a difference between motherhood culture and wife culture? Ashley posed this question on her account recently and one response that came up was that as moms, we can feel so alone and so we reach out for help and encouragement from other moms, “but that was me as a wife, I couldn’t talk about the hard stuff. I think that’s why I was so open about the prayer challenge because it’s hard to focus on being a wife especially when you’re being a mom.
I’ve seen so many marriages around me crumbling, and I see that we aren’t immune to divorce and we’re not guaranteed to stay married unless we work hard. For so long, I felt like I had no one to talk to. I’m trying to make it a safe place to say, I love my husband but marriage is hard and I need support to pray for my husband.”
Ready to learn more and join for yourself?
Head to @husbandprayerchallenge and look for the latest “Join the next Husband Prayer Challenge”. The challenge is best done in community, so grab a friend or two and get praying.
We are so glad you landed here today and hope you’ll check out this blog in podcast form for more encouragement and helpful ideas.
Want more than just the cliff notes? Listen to episode 210 below, and if you find it helpful, please kindly leave a review and share it with a friend!
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